16 signs you should probably break up

 Being single is much better than being in a meh relationship. Promise.

  As Pat Benatar wisely sang, love is a battlefield. While it can be worth it to put all your effort into keeping a relationship alive, sometimes it's time to wave the white flag. You shouldn't see that as something close to failure! Instead, parting ways to find someone who's right for you means you're brave, empowered, and a host of other flattering adjectives. And keep in mind that most of the items on this list are not set in stone; these things vary from couple to couple. But whatever happens, the following 16 signs that you might want to break up are definitely worth paying attention to.

  1. If sex seems as attractive as having your next five dental appointments at once.

  Every long-term relationship has its ups and downs. There are times when you want to spend your whole life having sex with this person, just taking quick breaks to recharge. Other times, your libido builds up and disappears on a sabbatical, leaving you the opposite of turned on. (Where is he going? Maybe on a relaxing trip to a spa? You can only guess.) But if the thought of having sex with your partner makes your skin crawl, or if your libido is only interested in other people, the basic attraction that is necessary to maintain a relationship may have left the building.

  2. If they do not support you in front of their family or vice versa.

  I had a friend whose relationship was the romantic equivalent of a puppy hugging a baby: almost disgustingly adorable. The only problem was that her boyfriend's family refused to receive her because he turned out to be of a different race than theirs. Out of fear of alienating their loved ones, my friend's boyfriend never pressured them to open their minds or open up to them about how much the relationship meant to him. Even though my friend was crazy about the boy, she canceled because he couldn't support her in that vital way. After a certain point, the feeling that he was ashamed of her was too painful for love to be worth it. Of course, these situations are complicated and can have many root causes beyond race, but facing up to your family about the person you care about is usually non-negotiable.

  3. If they are abusive.

  No one deserves to be in an abusive relationship, either physically or emotionally. Here's information on how to get out of an abusive relationship in the safest way possible.

  4. If not so extreme, but they always seem to be stuck in mean mode.

  When someone constantly makes you feel bad about yourself (even unintentionally!), They have to go. Being single is better than being with a person who depresses you instead of elevating you to be your toughest self, which really should be one of the main benefits of being in a relationship.

  5. If your goals in life are completely opposite.

  Let's say your partner wants to live in the heart of a big city, while your dream future home is the most perfect country barn on Pinterest. Commitment is always an option, but when you have wildly different ideas about how you want life to be, a person may have to give up a lot of themselves to be truly happy.

  6. If everyone around you tells you to leave them.

  When your family and friends have superficial reasons for wanting you to break up, don't hesitate to ignore them. Who cares if your partner wears band shirts instead of business suits? But if you have a nagging feeling that your concerns are valid, then your comments may be worth listening to. After all, who knows you better than they?

  7. If you can't support your daily habits.

  It's normal to go a little crazy at times, maybe his chewing gum mimics that of a cow too closely, or his inability to hang up a wet towel stuns you. But if their little quirks inexplicably flood you with rage, that's not a pleasant way to live for either of them!

  8. If you are always nervous about being cheated.

  Maybe they've strayed before, or maybe you're worried that something they're saying doesn't add up. Either way, you should never feel unsure 24/7 about whether someone is staying true. Think of all the other things you could do with that weather, like finding someone who doesn't have a suspiciously convenient excuse for why there is a pair of someone else's underwear on their bed.

  9. If you can't stop dreaming of traveling the world on your own.

  Sometimes people long for a period of time alone to find themselves, and settling down before that doesn't feel right. Even if the person you are with is pretty perfect, the timing may be wrong because you haven't finished growing up. Take a breath and know that if the relationship is correct, you can meet again, and if it is not, you will find someone who is better suited to those more evolved than you.

  10. If you do not agree with the children.

  This applies if your partner has to do with family life while you never want to have children or the other way around. But it can also come down to how you would like to raise those theoretical children politically, religiously, and morally. If you are totally opposed to those important things, you can expect more than a few confrontations to get in the way of your domestic happiness.

  11. If nothing you do together excites you.

  While a relationship can't be all excitement all the time, it's not much fun to be in one completely devoid of joy. When you are together for the long term, there will be periods when your sex life is fairly quiet, which is ideal when activities outside of the bedroom get you excited to be with this person. And if everyday life feels too routine at times, hopefully your sex life will keep you both delighted. The point is that regular emotion is key.

  12. If you constantly fight over the same things.

  Fights are necessary in relationships, but the idea is to move from them to an even stronger partner. If you relive the same arguments over and over again, it could be a sign that there are some problems that you may not be able to overcome. At the very least, it's a clue that they may be too big for you to assume yourself, which is when seeing the couples therapist can be helpful.

  13. If you think everything can work if one of you makes some changes.

  Hoping that you can change someone is often a recipe for disaster, as is trying to change who you are just because you think it will make someone else happy. Sure, everyone should be on a lifelong quest to improve, but it's often hard for changes to stick if they're for someone other than you.

  14. If you are always on an emotional roller coaster.

  It's easy to confuse the drama of fighting and make up for real passion, but they are not the same! If you are routinely going through ups and downs in a relationship fast enough to suffer whiplash, you had better both find something more stable, or be single!

  15. If they can't stand each other's friends.

  Totally fine if you both don't exactly like one or two of your partner's crew, but if you want to send them all to another planet, you can't go. How are you supposed to have the Friends type dynamic where everyone gets along, becomes a de facto family, and has a cool hangout with their names on it?

  16. And if your instinct tells you that it is time to end the relationship.

  Women's intuition is not a joke. Even if you can't identify what exactly is wrong, simply knowing that something is wrong is enough.