This quiz will reveal if you are good at breakups

Also, experts explain the best way to let someone go.

The downside to dating is that in addition to meeting new people and learning a lot about yourself, you're probably dealing with breakups as well. There is a whole spectrum of responsibility and maturity that your break-up behaviors can fall into, because being eloquent about your feelings isn't always easy. Enter into the temptation of not even negotiating, emitting ambiguous signals or deceiving the poor.

Ending a relationship with responsibility and authority is a skill that extends far beyond that specific outlet," Carrie Capstick, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist in New York, tells SELF. "Who you are at the end of the relationship, whether you are the partner who runs or says goodbye in a constructive and authentic way, will likely be the person you are in your next relationship.

According to Esther Perel, author of Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence, there are four stops on the relationship responsibility spectrum: phantom, icing, simmering, and separation of power.

The ghosting is on the more avoidant end of the spectrum. You can't deal with being the bad guy, so you just drop the situation entirely. Getting a little more involved is classified as icing. When you freeze someone, you withdraw, but you want them to grieve for you in case you change your mind at some point; it's equal parts ego and anxiety. A little better is simmering, when you want to keep someone in the background while you see what else is out there. And the most direct means of handling a breakup is the separation of power. When you end a relationship this way, you know what works for you and you are not afraid to communicate it.

To help you figure out where you are on the breakup style spectrum, and how you can work your way to the more mature side of your next relationship, answer these questions about how you usually say sayonara to someone you're dating.

When you decide you don't like someone after the third date, you ...

• Tell them you've had a great time hanging out, but the chemistry isn't there.
• Tell them you're not looking for anything serious, but that you can still go out once in a while.
• Tell them that you are not looking for a relationship right now, but who knows? Maybe I will change my mind in a few months.
• Never tell them anything. Maybe they just think you died.

Once you know you don't want to date someone anymore, how long do you wait to tell them?

• It's not like that. As soon as you find out, you tell them that you are not interested in dating again.
• You wait until they ask you to go out again, then you say you have to check your schedule and you probably won't know if you're free until the day of.
• You wait until the day before you're supposed to go out again, and then cancel at the last minute due to a "work project."
• You never talk to them again, even when they get close.

You've been dating someone for a few months, but the relationship isn't really progressing. You…

• Arrange to see them in person, then tell them that you don't think this is going anywhere because even though you think they're awesome, you're ultimately looking for different things in life.
• Stop prioritizing or communicating with them, but respond when they get in touch and hang out when they plan the date.
• Let's say you need to focus on work / yourself / your new Bigglesworth puppy so your schedule is too hectic to see. But it also hints that he might be more open to something in the future.
• Forget to reply to your text messages. And your calls. And the door when they show up in your apartment to make sure you're alive.

Which breakout text am I most likely to send?

• It was a pleasure meeting you and I had a lot of fun walking this past weekend. But if I'm honest, I don't see this going any further. I wish you all the best and good luck with your marathon training this fall! 

• Hey, I'm sorry, but I'm really overwhelmed at work and I don't think I can make drinks tonight. Maybe we can do it sometime next week?

• I don't think I'm in the right mental space to date right now, but if I was, you would be the person I chose.

• * Radio silence *

If you answered mainly as:

You are a rude who says goodbye to power. It is normal to have a lot of anxiety about hurting someone's feelings, but you know that when you are direct, you can control the message. "Confronting your partner at the end allows you to say that even though things didn't turn out well, you may still care about her or value the time you spent together, Capstick says. "This can be an ointment for the pain of the breakup." And it's not just about them. Having the courage to trust in letting go of something that is regular will

If you answered mainly B:

You are boiling your suitors. You like them, but not enough to fully engage, so you're happy to play with their emotions as you explore. Most of the time, this is a pretty selfish move. But in rare cases, it could be a good decision. It's important to understand your intentions to keep someone in the background," Jillian Stile, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist in New York, tells SELF. "Are you hoping to change or are you really confused and unsure about whether the relationship is promising? Leaving your options open can be fruitful if, after a little introspection, you realize that you do indeed want to be with the person. 

If you answered mainly Cs:

You are a total ice queen. Most likely, you will tell yourself that you are just trying to slowly remove them in hopes of easing the blow. But let's face it: it's nice to know that someone is lusting after you, even if it's purely out of confusion about your actual position. Many rationalize that they are 'protecting' their partner from the truth by not being blunt, says Chapstick. But in the end, making a clean break is better for everyone involved. That way, neither of you wastes energy on something that will never work.

If you answered mainly Gd:

Are you even alive? That's probably what your date is wondering. When someone cheats on you, it is much more painful than a difficult but respectful goodbye, says Capstick. In truth, avoiding awkward conversation is about helping yourself, not protecting someone from rejection. Facing each other at the end helps close and minimizes unresolved feelings, he adds. How you handle the breakup, whether it's a sudden disappearance or a heartfelt message, can strongly influence how they will feel about the breakup.

Also, ghosting someone could leave you with a lot of guilt. So in most situations, it's best to end it for good (even if it's not face-to-face or on a phone call, because if you've only been on a few dates, it may not always feel necessary). No matter where your breakup behaviors fall, it's never easy to utter the dreaded "I just don't like you that much." You should be as fair as possible, not just to your future ex-lover, but to yourself.